white male consumer

“We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves. The martyrs go hand in hand into the arena; they are crucified alone. Embraced, the lovers desperately try to fuse their insulated ecstasies into a single self-transcendence; in vain. By its very nature every embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy in solitude. Sensations, feelings, insights, fancies – all these are private and, except through symbols and at second hand, incommunicable. We can pool information about experiences, but never the experiences themselves. From family to nation, every human group is a society of island universes.”

I’ve been in love with this Aldous Huxley quote since reading The Doors of Perception last year.

On the other end of the philosophical spectrum (and that’s a false juxtaposition if I’ve ever heard one), I’m currently slogging my way through Lama Surya Das’ Awakening the Buddha Within. Every few years I’ll pick up a book dealing in Buddhism and briefly “get enlightened.” But after putting the book down and sleeping on it, I invariably realign myself along humanist lines a la Huxley.

Most don’t realize it, but Buddhism is an incredibly optimistic belief system. Everyone has the ability to realize the root causes of their suffering, and to put an end to it by removing wants, desires. Or so the spiel goes.

I just can’t bring myself to be so damn optimistic.

Of course Nirvana properly defined is attainable, but is the removal of suffering really the end goal? Most of us act and react according to desires. And if happiness is the goal, then Nirvana is the solution. But I wonder whether happiness (or the absence of its opposite) is anything other than “yet another state of mind.” Achieving Nirvana doesn’t change tangibles. Tangibles are mostly irrelevant in such a mind-state.

Should they be?

Now, I’m not going to actively pursue misery. Even though, on an abstract level, it might be much more interesting. But I’m still trying to figure out what end goal I have in mind. What would satisfy… Satisfy this deeply unsatisfying existence. I’m not looking for Nirvana. Just contentment.

This has been an incredibly unfulfilling late-night stream-of-consciousness ramble. Tune in for more, later on!