Killing myself just to keep alive, killing myself to survive

These last few days I’ve been doing some of the tourist things that abound in Ithaca. Wine tasting, hiking, looking at flowers at Cornell, sitting on the shores of lake Cayuga, eating good food. Commencement was on Sunday, so my parents came for that, and they’ll be staying nearly a week. We’ll be taking in everything that the Finger Lakes region offers that we’ve never experienced. I’ve snapped a lot of photographs, which can be seen at Flickr. I’m learning all of the subtleties of my Canon Rebel XTi, so photos are coming out better and better. I might want to invest in a macro lens and some lens hoods and polarizing filters though.

Graduation was fine: the actual ceremony surprisingly painless. But I was in a funk, and it’s pretty obvious why. It wasn’t about college ending (I’m ready) or my impending move from Ithaca (I’m thinking of staying). It’s the fact that there are maybe a half-dozen or so people I’ve met that I don’t really want to say adieu.. to.

One in particular.

Plenty of my peers are decent people. I get along with most of them. But I won’t miss them. Just like high school, or each year these past four, when friends and loose associates have graduated. OK, I’ll admit. It’s about a girl. Missed opportunities and kicking myself for never doing anything. Making the move.

But as Mr. Natural would say… Deal with it.