Usually my inane bitch-fests about college and life come later in the semester. And they’re more prevalent in spring, when I’m dealing with the cold, terrible weather of Ithaca to boot. But this time, I figured I might as well get it out early. And the line between this site and a LiveJournal or Xanga or MySpace gets fuzzier..

I am thoroughly disgusted with five of my classes. German I’m floundering because of a complete lack of interest, time, or understanding. My biology class is two and a half hours every week where I really, truly have difficulty staying awake – even after drinking coffee every day before class (and I don’t drink coffee).

I got the first essay I wrote for my politics class back yesterday. There was no grade, and in the comments the professor wrote that if I didn’t have any reason to take the class, “then if I were you I’d drop the course.” Later on he said that he was “impressed” by the lack of substance, effort, and intensity in the essay. Since then I’ve oscillated between being really pissed-off and totally apathetic. He was trying to get a rise out of me. He succeeded.

My one writing class is focused around theory and readings from the long dead. I don’t “get” any of it and slaving through the texts takes hours (”of valuable smashing time”?). My second writing class is all busy work, and I really can’t stand a couple members of the group I’m in. Tuesday night we were line-by-line editing together – six people. This is the most thoroughly inefficient and half-ass way of doing things I have ever seen. After two hours I walked out without saying anything. I’m an asshole.

My last writing class is going OK. But today’s speaker, a recent grad who’s already being published in the New York Times(!), once more brought home the reality that it’s not how well you write, it’s who you know.

I don’t know people, and I don’t schmooze.

I’m fucked.

Should I feel better after writing all of this down? Maybe. Do I? No. My frustrations with classes are just the tip of the iceberg. If I really wanted to foul this blog, I’d start talking about relationships – or the lack thereof that I have with any other singular human being on this planet. Bleh.