My Fish Died.

Paul Ruebens was pronounced dead on Thursday afternoon at 12:15PM, shortly after an emergency Dasani water relocation procedure. The cause of death is attributed to either undissipated chlorine, or chloramine. Now he’s in that big goldfish bowl in the sky.

He was promptly flushed at 12:25PM. Donations in his name can be made to a charitable organization.

RIP Paul Ruebens
Friday 3/11 to Thursday 3/17